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标题：公认最搞笑的15则冷笑话

XINI
    等级：兜爷
    积分：538
2007-09-29 17:01:17  楼主
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1、五元钱被犯罪团伙绑架了，打电话给百元钞：



“喂！你儿子在这里，不想我们撕票就用自己来换他！”



百元钞想了一下说：



“ 撕吧，撕了你们连5 块钱都没有了！”

      -----------------------------------------
        To love,like you have never been hurt before. To dance,like nobody would watch. To sing,like nobody would listen. To work,like you don not need any money. To live,like there is no tomorrow.

 会员们的回应(21)

XINI
    等级：兜爷
    积分：538
2007-09-29 17:01:32

2 、一个人在沙漠里快要饿死了，这时他捡到了神灯。

神灯：“ 我只可以实现你一个愿望，快说吧，我赶时间。”

人：“我要老婆 ……”

神灯立刻变出一个美女，然后不屑的说：“ 都快饿死了还贪图美色！可悲！”说完就消失了。

人：“……饼。”

 
      -----------------------------------------
        To love,like you have never been hurt before. To dance,like nobody would watch. To sing,like nobody would listen. To work,like you don not need any money. To live,like there is no tomorrow.
XINI
    等级：兜爷
    积分：538
2007-09-29 17:01:42

3 、蚯蚓一家这天很无聊，小蚯蚓就把自己切成两段打羽毛球去了，

蚯蚓妈妈觉得这方法不错，就把自己切成四段打麻将去了，

蚯蚓爸爸想了想，就把自己切成了肉末。

蚯蚓妈妈哭着说：“你怎么这么傻？切这么碎会死的！”

蚯蚓爸爸弱弱地说： “……突然想踢足球。”
 
      -----------------------------------------
        To love,like you have never been hurt before. To dance,like nobody would watch. To sing,like nobody would listen. To work,like you don not need any money. To live,like there is no tomorrow.
XINI
    等级：兜爷
    积分：538
2007-09-29 17:01:50

4 、熊猫男要QJ熊猫女，熊猫女奋力抵抗、誓死不从。

熊猫男失败后愤愤地说：“我们都快灭绝了耶！”

 
      -----------------------------------------
        To love,like you have never been hurt before. To dance,like nobody would watch. To sing,like nobody would listen. To work,like you don not need any money. To live,like there is no tomorrow.
XINI
    等级：兜爷
    积分：538
2007-09-29 17:02:01

5 、龟兔赛跑......兔子很快跑到前面去了 ......



乌龟看到一只蜗牛爬得很慢很慢 ......对他说: 你上来，我背你吧......

然后 ...... 蜗牛就上来了 ......

过了一会.... ..乌龟又看到一只蚂蚁...... 对他说:你也上来吧 ......

于是蚂蚁也上来了。

蚂蚁上来以后......看到上面的蜗牛 ...... 对他说了句 :你好

你们知道蜗牛说什么吗 ？

蜗牛说：你抓紧点 ，这乌龟好快 .......

 
      -----------------------------------------
        To love,like you have never been hurt before. To dance,like nobody would watch. To sing,like nobody would listen. To work,like you don not need any money. To live,like there is no tomorrow.
XINI
    等级：兜爷
    积分：538
2007-09-29 17:02:16

6、有一对男女正在吃晚餐

那个女生一直问那个男生：你爱不爱我 ？

男生看了女生一眼又继续吃晚餐

女生很生气又再问了一次：你爱不爱我？

男生终于说：爱

女生又问：那你要怎么证明？

忽然男生从口袋里拿了三十元出来，

且问女生 :你有没有十元？

女生拿了十元给了男生......

男生就把四十元放在桌上

过了一会儿 .....

女生很生气的问男生：你到底要不要证明你爱我啊！

男生说：我己经证明了啊！ 四十摆在眼前！
 
      -----------------------------------------
        To love,like you have never been hurt before. To dance,like nobody would watch. To sing,like nobody would listen. To work,like you don not need any money. To live,like there is no tomorrow.
XINI
    等级：兜爷
    积分：538
2007-09-29 17:02:24

7、一天逛小吃街

发现一家卖蛋塔的店

每一种看起都十分美味可口，想买个来试试

我问店员 : 请问这是单卖的吗？

店员 :不，这是日本的。

 
      -----------------------------------------
        To love,like you have never been hurt before. To dance,like nobody would watch. To sing,like nobody would listen. To work,like you don not need any money. To live,like there is no tomorrow.
XINI
    等级：兜爷
    积分：538
2007-09-29 17:02:36

8、有一天，一家失火了，

爸爸妈妈都逃出来了，只剩下一个儿子还在里面。

妈妈很紧张的在屋外大喊：

“ 儿子.....你在干吗 ......都失火了还不出来 ......”

儿子回答 ：“我在穿袜子阿.....”

妈妈又说， “都失火了还穿什么袜子....”

过了五分钟，儿子还没出来......

妈妈又紧张的喊， “儿子，你到底在干什么？快出来 ~ 都失火了，还待在里面.....”

儿子说，“我在脱袜子阿........”

 
      -----------------------------------------
        To love,like you have never been hurt before. To dance,like nobody would watch. To sing,like nobody would listen. To work,like you don not need any money. To live,like there is no tomorrow.
XINI
    等级：兜爷
    积分：538
2007-09-29 17:02:45

9、有个人到河边钓鱼



先穿了个树叶～半天没鱼上钩，他又换了块面包～一样半天没鱼上钩～

没办法他只好去换蚯蚓～一样还是半天没鱼上钩～～

他气愤之下～掏出100rmb 摔入水中大骂：

“*—%#% 要吃什么！自己去买！！！！ ”

 
      -----------------------------------------
        To love,like you have never been hurt before. To dance,like nobody would watch. To sing,like nobody would listen. To work,like you don not need any money. To live,like there is no tomorrow.
XINI
    等级：兜爷
    积分：538
2007-09-29 17:02:54

10、一个德国人、法国人、及一个日本人要到矿场工作。

老板是美国人，他对德国人说：你体格不错，你负责苦力。

对法国人说：你说你是工程师，你负责采矿的计划。

而对日本人他说：你很瘦小。你负责supplies( 补给) 。

然后隔周，他们开始上工。

几天后德国人及法国人发现日本人不见了，找了很久后他们决定还是先回头工作。

德国人开始工作的时候，日本人突然跳了出来，大声叫到：

「 Surprise!」

 
      -----------------------------------------
        To love,like you have never been hurt before. To dance,like nobody would watch. To sing,like nobody would listen. To work,like you don not need any money. To live,like there is no tomorrow.
XINI
    等级：兜爷
    积分：538
2007-09-29 17:03:02

11 、“我看不清太远的东西， ”病人对眼科医生说。

“请跟我来，”医生把病人带到外面，用手指着天上的太阳，问道，“你看那是什么？ ”

“太阳。”病人回答。

“ 那你还想看多远！”

 
      -----------------------------------------
        To love,like you have never been hurt before. To dance,like nobody would watch. To sing,like nobody would listen. To work,like you don not need any money. To live,like there is no tomorrow.

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